Ending the culture of BS

Y’all. I’m just realizing something… society is really full of it a lot of times. Those we place our trust in – institutions, judges, politicians, ideas that don’t work, ideas that are in reality still in formation, whoever and whatever – often don’t have the answers many times. And that is because of the very…

Reconciling This Thanks-Taking Thing

So this is my first year doing the whole “it’s complicated” national family holiday based on a f’ed up history thing by myself…and it’s actually…not so bad. Woke up, worked out, self cared, ate some Thanksgivingy stuff, put on my favorite at-home tatty shirt, worked on my show, planned business stuff to make the world…

#rudyhuxtable

I grew up in the 80s, where I would see myself in big geometric sweaters in college campuses and dodging creepy but lovable neighbors with fall-proof glasses. By the time I found Lauryn, I wasn’t the same. By the time I found Malcolm and Frances, my perception became crystal. My entire existence is founded on…

Grants & White Supremacy

When you finally apply for a grant for the work you’ve been doing for the last decade, because your folks are like “Yo, all the stuff you do, you should def apply.” And you do, and place last and get asked if you want feedback. You say yes, definitely, because you want to grow. And…

Xavier’s Beautiful Mind & Running Your Own Business

The greatest thing about working for yourself, is that everything you work on is for your dream. There’s never that annoying assignment. There’s only everything you have to do, to provide the best service and product you can muster. I mean I do that for other jobs – but this time, it’s for a dream…

Which Indian are you?

Neither. I’m East Bengali American. That means I hail from a history my parents were not supposed to talk about, so we could start clean in a new country. One founded on the blood and tears of those like us, but stripped from their land, their dignity, and buried from the media. But I found…

When you find out you’re living with a Karen

So Karens are interesting specimen. They’re pretty unreflective of themselves but centered in “their comfort” and that comfort is usually centered around their white-is-rightness, where the melanated person can at any point become the Black boogeyman who she must stand up to and triumph against. I didn’t realize she was a Karen. Not off jump….

This Pre-Existing Hope

I’m not gonna lie, I have to do chest x-rays every five years or if I ever have a prolonged cough because of having been exposed to TB years ago. I’ve had intensely long heart palpitations in the past and shortness of breath under anxiety. I have pre-existing conditions. I’m playing it safe. I’m 100…

The time I f’ed up:

This one time I broke a mirror on the street trying to get it out of my car. This was amid trying to do a bunch of things to help fix up this house and room I was staying at. Overwhelmed, my brain performed the calculations of getting the house broom and sweeping it into…

A Place where Love can Live

You ever watch those movies where there is a friendship or a romantic relationship forming and the conflict is always that culminating moment where one person suddenly becomes super toxic to the other person, spewing out a perspective on that person that they seemed to have been harboring the entire time on why they actually…

Evolution

Today I’m noticing my evolution. Years ago, I didn’t have a skincare routine. Now, I’m going through my travel bag of TSA approved containers, each container filled with a different natural cleanser or jojoba oil or Shea-coconut oil mixture or essential oil. Years ago, my dorm room made no sense. Now I like to leave…